Captured! By Robots

Chameleon Club Presents

Captured! By Robots

The Slackwater News, Metallican't "A Tribute to Metallica" (with a piano), The Exploder!

Fri, October 31, 2014

8:00 pm

Chameleon Club


This event is 21 and over

Captured! By Robots
Captured! By Robots
2 kick ass robots, 1 stupid human. Brutal pummeling music. End of story.
But you wanna read more stupid crap? Ok, idiot human.

C!BR has been touring the world since 1997, playing thousands of dive bars for millions of drunk humans.

In 1996, Jay Vance made the robots because he was extremely unlikeable, and wanted to play in a band after all his past human bands hated him. He got to work. Shortly after, GTRBOT666 and DRMBOT 0110 were born. After a horrible accident involving many drugs and a chemical spill, the Bots became self aware and captured the human, now renamed JBOT. It was decided that they would travel the country, rocking out while bent on world domination and humiliating the masked and chained idiotic human in front of his human peers.

In 2013, a critical point was achieved in robotic/human symbiosis. The Bots over went their sixth upgrade, developing human faces in an attempt to fool the pathetic humans into lowering their guard, not unlike decoys in duck hunting.

Humans are now the hunted! Hahaha!

As well, JBOT's chains and mask were removed, after 15 years of captivity the chains were no longer needed as they were now chains of the mind, and removal of the mask serves to show how ugly and disgusting the human JBOT really is.

The Bots and JBOT's relationship has changed, now they are much more united in hating humanity. Stockholm syndrome? Maybe… Or maybe you all just suck really really bad.

C!BR's newly found united aggression towards humanity has been channeled into fast n loud music, designed to deafen and destroy, to pound and pummel, breaking your bones with brutal tones.
The Slackwater News
The Slackwater News
With their second EP "Graveyard Mates" the Slackwater News lets fly another batch of restless songs that walk that thin line between indie-rock and freak-folk; memorable for their melodies, sweet in their harmonies, and cleverly arresting in their lyrics.

The group-Matt Blank (drums), JJ Gammache (bass, vocals), Matt Johnson (guitar), Daniel Ramirez (organ/piano/keyboards), and Dan Zdilla (vocals, guitar)-proudly hails from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, where a healthy modern arts and music community thrive alongside badly lit retail outlets, tourist buffets, and horse-drawn agriculture.

Their debut disc, "All You Creatures" earned significant regional notice as well as airplay on WXPN and other radio outlets in 2010. It drew comparisons to the likes of Dr. Dog, The Black Keys, Band of Bees, Spoon, Avett Brothers, and The Beatles.

This time around the group presents six songs about things like international phone calls, sharing house with polite ghosts, the oddly comforting certainty of entropy, and the equally comforting notion of spending that eternity in the ground with someone you love. "Graveyard Mates" was released Halloween 2012.
Metallican't "A Tribute to Metallica" (with a piano)
Formed in early 2011 by Mike and Luke as yet another side project from their myriad of bands, and originally conceived as a 2 piece that would cover Metallica songs using only a piano and drums, Metallican't soon became an all-consuming force. On the eve of their first show at the monthly "Max J. Variety Show" Mike contacted his friend T. to spring on him the all important "Would you like to sing for Metallican't?" question. T agreed, but suggested that under the circumstances of having only one day to prepare (and learn all the lyrics and changes) only 3 songs should be performed, and "none of that new Metallica shit". Everyone agreed to those terms and T listened to ONLY METALLICA for the next 12 hours, on repeat, endlessly. The next day, a mere 4 hours before showtime, Metallican't had their first practice as a full band, and T got his first taste of just how much balls out aggressive rock power can come from a distorted piano and loud as fuck drums. Metallican't took the stage later that night and proved themselves as a driving force in the burgeoning genre of Piano Metal. Its what they do.

The next morning T woke up with the flu. Rock n Roll knows no mercy.

Mike moved to Belgium which sounds like some sort of thing we made up but in reality he actually DID move to Belgium... But the fans kept asking "when will Metallican't ever play again?" and just when all hope seemed lost and times were at their darkest, Max J stepped up to take the reigns of "the drummer" position and Metallican't was reborn.
Venue Information:
Chameleon Club
223 North Water Street
Lancaster, PA, 17603